| Tuesday, May 17, 2005 |
| Getting the Skinny on Mom's New Diet |
Lauren demonstrates Mommy's new diet.
Yesterday's post was an example of why people should not drive or pilot rocket ships to the moon while taking sedatives, or in my case, blog on 940 calories. I was plain loopy. What, you couldn't tell? I know it was you that called the men with the white jackets driving the paddy wagon. It wasn't such a bad drive. I was just ticked because they forgot to cut holes in the jacket they gave me.
So let me tell you a little more about the doctor supervised diet that I'm on. It's quite simple, really.
Meds
37.5 mg of Phentermine daily
7.5 mg of Potassium every other day
50 mg Water Pill every other day
Diet
1000 - 1200 calories per day
20 - 30 fat grams per day
64 gallons of water per day
Other Instructions
Exercise 30 minutes a day
No pork, no gummy worms, and no funnel cakes from the State Fair
See, it's not so complicated. There are a few things that made my eyeballs pop out of my head as my doctor was telling me this. 1,000 calories per day? Was he leaving out a meal? I think the kids on the Feed the Children commercials get more than 1,000 calories a day.
Those four little letters of the first medication also threw up a warning flag. Ever since Fen-Phen starting blowing up people's hearts or turning them into werewolves, I've been fairly leery of any medication starting with F or Ph. I did a little bit of WebMD research on Phentermine and it's been on the market circa 1959. Of course, the warnings say it shouldn't be used long term, but my doctor gave no indication that I would ever be off the meds for the rest of my life or until I reach 120 lbs, whichever comes first.
I'm one of those people fascinated by weight loss stories. Two people I work with have had gastric bypass surgery. I think that the surgery is actually some kind of alien body snatching experiment because these people are a third of the people I used to know. One of them brought a calendar to work that his doctor had printed. All of his patients who had the surgery were featured on the calendar in before and after pictures (several each month). I was in a meeting when I snatched it from him and I was hypnotized. Somebody could've been shouting my name and I wouldn't have heard a thing. I was in the weight loss twilight zone.
Phentermine also has a website featuring its success stories. Beware, it's very addicting if you like that sort of thing. Find it right here. |
| posted by ieatcrayonz @ 5/17/2005 |
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