| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 |
| mom swap |
My word, is it Wednesday already? Where on Earth did this week go? If you borrowed it without asking, please be a doll and return it, um kay?
A few weeks ago, Rancito told me that Extreme Home Makeover is in town. He said that some crews on his job were volunteering for the job.
Crayonz: "So are you going to volunteer, too?"
Rancito: "NO WAY."
Crayonz: "Whaaa....? I mean c'mon, you could MEET Ty!"
Rancito: "Ugh."
Crayonz: "Hon, that would be so HOT...you and Ty...working together." Wink, wink
Rancito: Exits the room
Okay, so he didn't volunteer for the job, but he did get little scoops and shnizzles from the guys. One guy said that he showed up to do drywall, and that there were so many people there already, that they just turned around and left. The camera crews would stop work and clear it out so they could shoot their little snippets, but for the most part, the designers were rarely THERE!
What a crock.
Moving on....
The highlight of my week so far was Monday's episode of Wife Swap. I'm not a regular watcher of the show, but I heard that this week's episode featured a penny pinching Oklahoma mom.
Now that's right up my alley.
Except this mom was WAY out there. Let me list some of the nutso things she makes her family do:
1. Conserves water by timing the family's showers with a 2-song CD.
- I don't think those songs are by Mozart and Beethoven, if you catch my drift.
2. Insists the 3 children contribute money towards the family vacation. Oldest daughter Lauren had to contribute $100 for their ski trip, and the 4 and 7-year-old boys each contributed $5.
- I bet they'd only give her one ski if she only had $50.
3. Daughter Lauren receives $10 allowance each week based on completion of chores. $5 must go into savings and $3 goes towards her $12.50 weekly drum lesson.
- AND the Mom doesn't allow her daughter's band to practice over at her house. Hello, she plays the drums! It's not a little bitty old flute.
4. Clothing and gifts are purchased at garage sales.
- Wouldn't it be embarrassing to be re-gifted something from your own garage sale?
5. Mom holds down her youngest and sits on him to brush and floss his teeth daily. Mom says that it's worth the pain to keep from having to pay for cavity fillings.
- Hello future counselling sessions.
Okay, now grab your barf bag because the wackiness doesn't end there.
1. Mom and Dad have already paid off their $700,000 home. Mom was 31 at the time (now 34).
- Oklahoma is a poor state. A $700,000 home buys you a LOT.
2. Mom and Dad have stashed away a nest egg that would allow them to retire today. Dad still works though.
- You know, because he's 34, and people would talk.
Granted, Sugar Daddy makes $200,000/year as a financial advisor. That's probably four times the average Oklahoman's family income. Course, you'd probably have to factor out Garth Brooks to get that number. Still, how do you pay off $700,000 home by age 31? If you know, please email me...NOW.
Still, as "perfect" as this Mom's life is, she has relationship issues with her daughter. Hmmm, ya think?
I mean, how could you tell this face, "Hey, gimme all yer money!"
I wouldn't want to swap lives with that woman for anything. $700,000, 2 minute shower, cold (turns temp down), dark (turns the lights off) house and all. |
| posted by ieatcrayonz @ 2/01/2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
