| Monday, August 15, 2005 |
| Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! |
Going down! I repeat, going down!
Mrtl Monday's theme this week is Fear. She had to pick an easy one, didn't she? But that's why we all blove her so much. Unstick nose from rear.
I began by comparing my fears as a child to those I have today. As a child, I feared not having enough money to buy a package of Skittles at the store or whether or not mom would let me go to a sleepover. There were no fears of paying bills on time, passing college courses, or getting a dream job, heck, even keeping a dream job. BTW, if you've found one, let a sister in on the secret, please.
I do remember one particularly adult decision I made in my pre-teens. I decided that I didn't want any kids. I figured that the world was in a poor enough state that I couldn't forgive myself by bringing another life into it. The environment was shot, the streets were filled with gangs and drugs, and everywhere you looked, you found corruption. This was 15+ years ago I was having these thoughts.
Somewhere along the way, I decided that a high-powered career wasn't all it's cracked up to be. (Not that I really have any experience with that.) My priorities changed and my life outside the office became my source of joy. And then we had Lauren. She is undoubtedly my greatest accomplishment. I fear all sorts of harm that will come her way, but a sheltered life is not living. It's the bumps and bruises along the way that craft our souls.
Had I not jumped in feet first to motherhood, I would have missed seeing my daughter clap for the first time this past Saturday. I never would have felt the joy in my heart as I watched her playing with hair as I rocked her to sleep tonight. And I would not know what it feels like to hold my breath in as my daughter takes a tumble off of her ride-on walker, and she doesn't even shed a tear or make a whimper.
No, I won't fear what's in store for her. We'll take the good and the bad one day at a time because that's all we're given: one day at a time.
Whew, close call. |
| posted by ieatcrayonz @ 8/15/2005 |
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