| Friday, April 01, 2005 |
| I'm a Daddy's Girl |
This is my father holding one month-old Lauren. I think my dad was probably less excited than Rance was about the pregnancy. I actually told my parents I was pregnant before my husband because I couldn't hold it in any longer. Yes, I can hear the screaming criticism now, "Bad wife!" I had to tell Rance in person and that meant 6 hours alone with a really big secret. That's about 5 1/2 hours longer than my longest secret-keeping record.
I remember my mom sounding so giddy on the phone like she was about to pee her pants, but Dad was completely silent. For a second I thought he hung up the phone. "Dad? Hello? Dad." Finally, I heard a soft "Yeah" come over the line. I don't think he was angry, maybe in my mind I'd like to think he was holding back fluid emotion.
See, my dad is a manly man: rugged NRA card carrying self-employed construction worker. We had to deliberate on what Lauren would call him because "Grandpa" was unacceptable. I decided on Paw Paw. It fits him like a glove. I wouldn't say that dad has trouble telling me that he loves me, he does all the time. I think he has more trouble in the area we women like to call "expressing love." Every once in awhile dad will give me a wallet sized card with a nice quote or poem on it. Last year he gave me one with this poem on it. I can't remember if I was pregnant or just had Lauren, but it took everything in my body and soul to hold back the tears, um, I mean fluid emotion.
"To My Daughter, I Love You"
When you were born, I held you in my arms
and just kept smiling at you
You always smiled back
your big eyes wide open full of love
You were such a beautiful, good, sweet baby
Now as I watch you grow up
and become you own person
I look at you
your laughter, your happiness, your simplicity
And I want to tell you that
I am so proud of you
and I dearly love you
-Susan Polis Schutz |
| posted by ieatcrayonz @ 4/01/2005 |
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