I threw up on my lawn yesterday. I added it to the top ten list of low points in my life. Sunday evening, the ever-so-kind hubster brought home Subway for dinner. I thought the cucumbers may have been a little unusual, but I ate them anyway. Yesterday I woke up at 5 am and didn’t leave the bathroom for about two hours. I went to work, stomach cramps and nausea keeping me in a squinty-eyed doubled over pose for another two hours. I decided that I really didn’t want to throw up at work, so I hightailed it down the hall, shouting “I have to go home now!” as I shuffled past my boss’s door, not really waiting for a reply. When I got home, I slept another three hours and did not improve. In the past, bad food pains would normally go away in a few hours or after a good nap. But, this was the tsunami of bad food, I was poisoned! Step aside, Romeo and Juliet. I decided I had to go to the doctor even though I wasn’t really sure they could do anything. Well, they did. I got a nice stinging shot in the bum. “Great,” I thought. Add that to my ever-increasing list of low points. I called Rance to come pick me up because the shot was supposed to make me very sleepy. I decided that it was best I not get a ticket for doing a re-enactment of Chris Klein driving drunk in San Diego.

The ride home was very uncomfortable. I must have looked like a wild animal that should never have been seatbelted into the front passenger seat of our car. The trip down our street took eight hours. By the time we got home and Rance parked MY car in HIS spot, I could wait no longer. I was out and on the lawn in 2.3 seconds.

So today, I feel a little better. I dressed to go to work, but I almost fell asleep in my breakfast cereal. My lower back and bum are still tender, so I decided it was best I stay home again. I just woke up now after a six hour nap. I feel a lot better. Hopefully, Lauren will forgive her mommy for not being able to play with her last night. I’ll make up for it tonight, I promise.